Gave me a handjob
When your mediocre guy hears the son "hand job," it goes done a processing factory that spits it out to his brain as "Dry make appendage exhibit NOOOO." and then they make some variety of that jape that goes like, "The best hired hand job is with your mouth, HUR HUR HUR HURRR DURR." Yeah, no. Why are handies considered the unenviable inbred cousin of the gust job? Because they're connected with the last undersexed sexual attitude: Halfheartedness. We picture them being given in the backs of a car by an ambivalent, inexperienced teen female offspring to her unfortunate boner-addled lover who is shorter than her.
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